December 13th, 2008


(no subject)

My neighbors must hate me. With all the noise coming from my sander and shop vac it's a wonder no one's yet pounded on my door and demanded that I stop. Maybe they think my apartment is being renovated, and that's why they don't bother.

I've been bad about posting. This piece was finished three weeks ago:

Fire for Steam, 44"x20"

Sometimes I feel like I'm a one-person factory. I go to work at my corporate job all day and then I come home, eat dinner and work on my paintings deep into the night. Weekends are for gathering supplies and also offer the ability to work longer hours on the paintings. I force myself to take breaks and meditate, and I need my long walks to help keep me sane. I feel like I'm in an in-between time, where everything is plastic, mutable and up in the air. So I just keep working, and doing what I do.

I've been tapped to be on a team that's going to work intensively all next week to re-define the brand of one of our clients, and the kick-off is this Sunday afternoon at 4pm. I'm pretty resentful of the fact that they're eating into my free time, but a job's a job, and I'm generally glad to have one. So off to work I will go tomorrow afternoon. Tonight there's a party being thrown by a coworker, and I'm planning to go to that, too.


Part of me want's to go, and part of me wants to blow it off. I've never EVER been one to mix my private life and my work life. I don't want to lose any more of my ME time to my day job than I absolutely have to. But I'm realizing more and more that it may be important to do these things in order for me to advance in my "career", as much as it makes me sick to say so. I often fantasize about ditching my corporate career; it really does make me physically ill to think that THIS IS WHAT I DO. I've got this life, and having a corporate career is what I'm doing with it. I try to do more, but it never feels like enough. UUUuuuuuug
It's enough to make me want to cry.

And on that note, here's an image I shot last weekend of one of my dried out paint jars. It reminds me of an iris and pupil: