It's fun to be acting again, much more fun than the last production I was in. I don't have to get hysterical or scream or get hit this time, which makes it so much easier on my psyche. The last production was too demanding - in order to make that character believable I had to BE hysterical and scream and cry and feel a lot of pain. I hated going to rehearsals - it gave me overwhelming anxiety. I'd be crumpled up, sobbing in my negligee (that was the costume) in front of everyone and the director would finally nod in approval. "Yes! Now I believe the scene! Now I see pain and agony - brilliant work!"
Looking back I think she was a sadist.
This new production is far more fun.
I've enjoyed fleshing out my character and making her "real" - writing up a back-story and giving her a history, a personality. What was her childhood like? Who was her first boyfriend? What was the best day in her life? What was the worst? It has helped me to understand her - to know her inside and out.
Getting all dressed up last night and going through the scene felt good, and we're shooting on Sunday. It's a relatively short scene, but fairly involved and will probably take most of the day to shoot - I'm really looking forward to it!