When the alarm went off I thought holy fuck why is my alarm going off. But then I remembered why I had set it, so I dragged myself out of bed and sat on the couch and meditated for 15 minutes before getting back into bed and drifting off to sleep once more.
And it worked wonderfully – I immediately fell into a dream state in which I was powerfully aware of my surroundings and the fact that I was in a dream. I floated up to the ceiling and clawed through the plaster like it was wet sand, and I could feel it palpably in my hands as I worked through it. I kept waking up and then falling back into sleep, but throughout the duration I was in full awareness that I was dreaming and could feel and sense everything around myself as though it was real.
I suppose I'll give it another shot tonight.
The guy I've been seeing seems to like me quite a bit, more than I like him, in fact. He keeps trying to invent reasons to have to come by. I finally agreed to have coffee with him tomorrow. I can do that. I haven't been feeling well (due to bad case of tonsillitis which then required a course of antibiotics which has resulted in intense fatigue due to gut bacteria genocide). Anyway, I almost told him to just leave me alone, I'm not his girlfriend we're not in a relationship, I don't owe him anything, but I didn't. I'm glad I didn't – it's not his fault I'm such an introvert and just want to be left alone. And I don't know, maybe he's good for me. I don't know.